Dumped, Mortgage Style

by Alex Stenback on April 8, 2008

That letter you get from your home equity lender breaking up with you:

Dear Homeowner,

The time has come to reconsider the nature of our relationship.  This is really hard, so please don’t start crying or anything until you get to the end.  We know the timing is really bad, what with the trip we planned and all.

This has been building for while, and we can’t hold it in any longer.  Maybe it’s you, or maybe it’s us, but we just aren’t attracted to you anymore, and these feelings get stronger every month.  It’s all very hard to explain, but it’s like something has come between us, and we just feel EXPOSED. This is no way to have a healthy relationship. We have to make a change. We have to end things.

Not that we don’t love you – we’ve gotten a lot out of this relationship, and grown together over the years.  And don’t for a minute think we haven’t appreciated your timely payments, often scented with the sweet perfume of extra principal reduction.  It has really been a great ride – cars, boats, the little things to tide you over when the going was tough – and we certainly wouldn’t be who we are today without you.

No no no, it’s nothing you’ve done – it’s just, you see, a lot has changed since those glorious, heady days when we first got together.  Remember those? 

Anyway. We are doing this for you as much as for us, but if it does offer some small bit of comfort, if our feelings change in the future, we’ll definitely take you back.

Formerly Yours,


Or it might read substantially like this letter received by thousands of Citibank customers who recently had their Home Equity Loans unceremoniously suspended, via Caveat Emptor (click to biggify):


{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

Sam Glover April 8, 2008 at 3:41 pm

Well played!

Andy April 9, 2008 at 8:28 pm

This also happened with Countrywide this past year. http://www.cbs46.com/news/15452714/detail.html

Miranda April 11, 2008 at 4:39 pm

This is happening with increasing frequency. Even for people with “good” credit, negative equity is becoming a problem as home values drop and suddenly homeowners owe more than their homes are worth.

Twin CIty Raj April 11, 2008 at 8:29 pm

This is a tough one. When your mortgage goes “up-side down” you may not want to barrow against your house anyway, obviously, higher priced homes tend to fluxuate in greater capacity, and in two years you could see your equity back and your credit line reinstated.

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