That letter you get from your home equity lender breaking up with you:
The time has come to reconsider the nature of our relationship. This is really hard, so please don’t start crying or anything until you get to the end. We know the timing is really bad, what with the trip we planned and all.
This has been building for while, and we can’t hold it in any longer. Maybe it’s you, or maybe it’s us, but we just aren’t attracted to you anymore, and these feelings get stronger every month. It’s all very hard to explain, but it’s like something has come between us, and we just feel EXPOSED. This is no way to have a healthy relationship. We have to make a change. We have to end things.
Not that we don’t love you – we’ve gotten a lot out of this relationship, and grown together over the years. And don’t for a minute think we haven’t appreciated your timely payments, often scented with the sweet perfume of extra principal reduction. It has really been a great ride – cars, boats, the little things to tide you over when the going was tough – and we certainly wouldn’t be who we are today without you.
No no no, it’s nothing you’ve done – it’s just, you see, a lot has changed since those glorious, heady days when we first got together. Remember those?
Anyway. We are doing this for you as much as for us, but if it does offer some small bit of comfort, if our feelings change in the future, we’ll definitely take you back.
Or it might read substantially like this letter received by thousands of Citibank customers who recently had their Home Equity Loans unceremoniously suspended, via Caveat Emptor (click to biggify):